Abell’s Diner, Clements, St. Mary’s County, Maryland

I honestly cannot remember when I had a meal that was as fun and as wonderful an experience as my breakfast at Abell’s Diner.

After Eric Zabielgaski and I finished our amazing fried chicken breakfast at Chaptico Market, we decided to check out Abell’s Diner, which we’d noticed on your way to Chaptico. Abell’s is on the southwest side of the circle where 242 crosses 272, at 23945 MD 242 (Colton’s Point Road). It’s maybe a five minute drive from Chaptico Market

We found a place to park, and strolled on in. Abell’s was packed, with all the seats full and people standing and waiting. I was wondering how long this would take us when we noticed another room with four tables. two of which were unoccupied. Here’s the front room after the crowd had cleared out.

After eating fried chicken at Chaptico Market, we weren’t looking for a big meal, so we agreed to share a couple of breakfast sandwiches. We looked over the menu and ordered coffee and two sandwiches, a scrapple egg and cheese and asausage egg and cheese, and asked that they be cut in half. We also both ordered potatoes because the server asked if we wanted potatoes with our sandwiches and it’s impolite not to order potatoes if they’re offered.

The server left and someone mentioned Chaptico Market. We reported we’d just been there for some fried chicken and that broke the dam. One of the tables was occupied by two men with family in Alabama, one from Bessemer and the other having spent summers in Alabama with grandparents while growing up. The other table was a couple who’d come up on farms in the Seventh District of St. Mary’s County, the wife being the last of 13 children and perhaps the one person I’ve met in my life who had the most personality.

There followed a warm, loving, and hilarious conversation that roamed over fried chicken, the fried pork chops at Two Soul Sisters over in Lusby, barbecue, stuffed ham, Alabama football (I was wearing my Alabama cap), The Bright Star and Bob Sykes in Bessemer, country sausage, pan fried chicken, pan gravy, working hard before your teens, and growing up without a lot of money. The wife — the 13th child — told about her amazing grandmother who made the best food in the world (as did my mother) and invented the Chaptico Market’s country sausage recipe, which is the best anywhere, as well as their recipe for stuffed ham, also the best anywhere, except that now they’re not allowed to stuff it in next to the bone as you should. Her love for her grandmother and for the Seventh District of St. Mary’s County was a joy to behold. We all talked about Mamas and grandmothers and, mostly, tobacco farming.

During all this another couple came in and sat down. The husband joined in on the tobacco harvesting discussion (the fastest spearer around!), and the cutting and stripping and hanging and riding on top of a truckload. He chimed in on everything and brought up the bread at Enso’s, which I hear is closing, alas, and the supreme greatness of Courtney’s, with which I heartily agreed. (It turns out that they own two of the finest restaurants in DC, and recently moved to Solomons, which is a pretty fair drive to Abell’s.)

Our sandwiches came during all of this, and it turned out that the food was, … like the conversation, better than mere mortals have any right to expect. Eric and i duly split and shared the sandwiches, and both were delicious.

The scrapple had the best crust I’ve ever had on scrapple, and good peppery seasoning that gave it a real depth of flavor. The country sausage was … exactly what a country sausage should be, and good enough for people from Lusby and Solomons and far beyond to drive in the morning. Having just had the perfectly crusted potatoes at The Frying Pan, I would have liked more crust on the potatoes, but they were still delicious. They must cook bacon on that griddle. The potatoes had that much flavor.

The conversation — actually multiple conversations overlapping, crashing into each other, drenching us with laughter, and probably disturbing diners in the next room — soared on and on. Finally, the two Alabama-connected guys, who’d finished long before, had to leave. They stopped at the door of the room and formally thanked us all for the wonderful time they’d had. We all agreed and, realizing just how long we’d stayed, shook hands all around and went our separate ways. I kick myself that I didn’t take a group photo and grab a piece of paper and a pen to get everyone’s name and contact information so I could arrange weekly meetings and commission a brass plaque commemorating the breakfast.

I’ve been to restaurants across the USA, in the Islands, and in Europe. I’vre enjoyed wonderful food and spectacular settings, but I’ve never enjoyed a meal more than at Abell’s. It was magical. I love small local places, old school barbecue places, diners, and other settings where people talk to each other without barriers, without a thought to income or race or religion or politics. Abell’s certainly is one, and their food is top notch. Go there, enjoy the food, and make a point to enjoy your fellow customers.

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